Perimenopause and Menopause: Why You’re Not Getting Relief (Even When You’re Doing Everything Right)
You might be one of those women who feels like you’ve tried everything, and you’re still on the struggle bus. Maybe it’s been years of trying to lose the same 10 pounds, the hot flashes, brain fog, the mood swings, or the exhaustion that just won’t lift. It might look like this: You try something new—something that worked for your friend, your neighbor, or someone online. It helps… for a little while, or maybe not at all.
Your labs come back “normal,” and yet, you know something isn’t right. So you keep searching and trying, and wondering why nothing seems to truly work.
Here’s the truth: It’s not that your body is broken. It’s that you haven’t yet given it what it specifically needs. Finding relief in this season is not one-size-fits-all. It’s bioindividual.
Let me explain this in a way that might land. I like stories, and in my own studies over the years, even ages ago, when I was in nursing school, I always appreciated analogies in order for things to really make sense.
Imagine that every woman entering perimenopause or menopause is sent to a place called Motherwort Castle. (And yes—if you know me, you know I’m an herbalist. Every house here is named after a plant traditionally used in women’s health)
Every woman’s length of stay here varies. You may stay for a few years… or for decades. When you arrive, you’re placed into one primary house that will determine what your stay will be like and how successful you will be when you graduate.
Each house represents a different underlying blueprint in the body and requires a different approach.
The Houses of Motherwort Castle
1. The Cohosh Condo- “Everything changed overnight.”
If you are sorted into this house, suddenly, what seemed like overnight, you might notice:
Weight gain (especially around the middle)
Hot flashes and night sweats
Achy joints
Decreased libido
Skin changes
Vaginal dryness or dry eyes
Muscle loss or weakness
For women in this house, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can be helpful. But here’s the nuance: If you’re also hanging out in other houses (and most women are), hormones alone won’t fully resolve things. And even when HRT works, it’s not the whole picture for long-term vitality.
2. The Dandelion Den- “I’m doing everything… and nothing is working.”
This house is incredibly common—and often overlooked. You may feel:
Bloated, sluggish, and heavy
Foggy and fatigued
Unable to lose weight
Frustrated that nothing “sticks”
Standard labs might show elevated cholesterol, blood sugar imbalances, and underlying inflammation, among other findings.
What’s happening here? Your body is likely not clearing and processing efficiently. This often points to sluggish detox pathways (especially in the liver), hormones that are not properly metabolized, and toxin buildup that interferes with function. The bottom line is: you can have “enough” hormones, but you’re not able to utilize them properly. What’s more, is that adding hormones (or supplements) without improving clearance can actually make symptoms worse. And despite what you may hear, aggressive detoxing is not the answer here. In this season, your body often lacks the capacity for harsh detox protocols. You need added support, not depletion.
3. The Vitex Treehouse- “My body doesn’t tolerate anything.”
This is the house that doesn’t get talked about enough. You might try HRT, supplements, and other natural protocols, but instead of feeling better, you feel worse. Or things work briefly, but then don’t last. This is often a cellular communication problem.
You can think of your cells like a bus. Hormones need to “get on the bus” (enter the cell) to reach the site where they do their job. If they can’t, they don’t reach their destination and aren’t utilized, causing your symptoms to persist. This is less about how much you have, but more about whether your body can actually use it.
4. The Angelica Abode- “There’s something deeper going on.”
This house includes women who have, or develop, underlying conditions alongside hormonal changes. This aften presents in the form of: Autoimmune conditions (like Hashimoto’s), chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, or other long-standing health challenges that have flared.
What happens in this house is important because hormones were compensating in your 20s and 30s, but now they’re not as easily doing so. So, underlying issues that were once quiet, they start to surface.
These women often feel deeply exhausted and react poorly to interventions. They need a more layered approach. In this case, you cannot separate hormones from the root cause health issues. They must be addressed together.
Why You’re Still Struggling
Here’s the reality: You are likely living in more than one house. You may be “sofa surfing” through 2 or more, and this can feel confusing, overwhelming, and like nothing will ever work. The reason is you’re trying to apply one solution to a multi-layered problem.
Your Next Step: A Personalized Approach
I created the Rooted Wellness Assessment to stop the guessing because it isn’t working. No more generic protocols. Let's build one that's just for you. Inside this assessment, we identify your HIDDEN stressors, connect the dots between your symptoms, and create a personalized plan that actually fits your body and life. Even if your labs are “normal”, you’re already on HRT, or you just want a more natural approach.
There is a reason you feel the way you do, and there is a way forward. You can learn more about the assessment session here.
Optional: Going Deeper with DUTCH Testing
If you want deeper insight, we can layer in DUTCH hormone testing. This test goes beyond basic hormone levels and shows:
How much are you producing?
What’s actually available for use
How your body is breaking down and clearing hormones
Because the truth is: You can have “normal” hormone levels and still feel awful. What matters is how your body is using them.
To conclude: This isn’t “just aging.” And it isn’t “JUST MENOPAUSE,” and this isn’t something you just have to push through. It’s not your fault that what you’ve tried hasn’t worked; you simply haven’t been given the right blueprint yet.
Not sure? Book a FREE Strategy Session Here